Manna

God, I am so thankful for your Manna from Heaven. Lord, help me to be satisfied with what you give me for you know what is best for me. Help me to never grumble or complain and to find joy even in the most uncomfortable places.

I am not called to sprint but to run this race. Run means to move at a speed faster than a walk, never having both feet on the ground at the same time. Lord, help me to keep a steady pace and to not stand still in this journey.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
"Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."

Catching Up

Well, it has been a LONG time since I have been on here...an understatement. Since I last posted I have been fostering a new little boy, 3 year old Keegan, lost my job, had a hysterectomy, and got a new job. The emotions over the last few months have been from one extreme to the other. You know......we don't see what the will of God is for our lives until way, way on down the road. I have to say...I have learned most of all to just hold on to God throughout it all, no matter if it feels like everything is falling apart. I am thankful for what I have learned over these 6 weeks of recovery/unemployement. It has not been how I had planned, but it was how God had planned it.

Sprinkles

The other morning I got ready for work and was waking up my sweet, precious little boy...that was asleep IN MY BED. I had put on a shirt that had sequence on the top around the neck of it. When I picked him up to take him into his bathroom he put his head on my shoulder and was rubbing my shirt across the sequence. He said, "Mama...I like your sprinkles."

Leo

We have been foster parents now for 5 years. In those 5 years we have had Leo for almost 3 of them. This wednesday will be the last night he will spend in our home. This statement brings such sorrow to my heart...among the mixture of feelings that I am having.

When Leo came to live with us he was about 18 months old...a little thing just over 20 pounds. He was very timid and not trusting at all. He and Jared were just 8 months apart, so it was like having twins.

Throughout the time that Leo has been here he has grown inside and out. Up until the last few months, he was not a child to show affection or tell you that he loved you. He didn't like hugs, and if you were trying to show him affection he would turn you off like a switch. He has always been very good at tuning you out...a master.

Out of the blue, not long ago he just began to give hugs. Leo would even come up to you unexpectedly and want to give you sugar. Sugar, by the way, might be on your hand or arm or leg....you never knew. Then came the "I love you", which seemed to be only given to me and Shane.

I have always known in the back of my mind that Leo would go home. I remember saying last year that it wouldn't be so bad because he always kept us at arms length and didn't let us in. He busted that right out of the water as he let us into his heart. Now I am faced with the fact that he won't be here much longer.

I know that foster parenting is something that God has called me to do, and in saying that, that this is part of that job. I can't say that I would ever pick this for my life, but I know that God knows what He is doing. I also know that Leo was only meant to be with me for a short season, but one that was rich in seeds sown with love.

A man of God reminded me today of Moses and those seeds that were sown into him as a child, and the promises that we have that it is not for naught. As he grows I pray that he never forget the things that have been taught to him.

As Leo is taken out of my hands, I am placing him in the hands of God to protect him and to keep him.

Quote

"Mama, you are the sweetest girl I eba seen in my whole nife." by Jared Kelly Burge

...in Jesus name; Amen; God bless you!

I was in the kitchen cooking supper yesturday while the boys were playing in the living room. Every few minutes one of them would come in the kitchen whinning..."He hit me." "He hurt my head." ...you get the picture. I would tell them that I didn't want to hear whinning & to go play nice. A little while later I heard Leo yell out then Jared said, "Leo, let me pray your foot. Jesus, pray Leo's foot, Jesus name, amen." He had obviously stepped on Leo's foot, and to avoid getting in trouble decided to make it all better. All of the sudden Leo's foot no longer hurt, and they were playing like nothing happened.

Once supper was ready, we sat down to eat. Usually we try to let each of the boys take turns saying the blessing. Sometimes we say it all together. This particular meal Jared wanted to say the blessing, no matter what anyone said. Everytime we all started to say the blessing he would put that little finger up to his lips & say SSSHHHHHH!!!!! Finally, we made it thru..with him being the leader of coarse!

I had made a strawberry pie the day before and told the boys that for dessert they could have another piece, but they had to finish their nuggets & fries (I know...nutritional, right?!) Well, Leo went to town on his plate; Jared tends to get a little side tracked. When Leo finished I gave him his pie, and reminded Jared that he had to finish his fries.

After one of many of the reminders to Jared, he (out of the blue) told me that his toe hurt..."Pray my toe, Mama." I said, "Jesus, make Jared's toe fell better, in Jesus name, amen." He chimmed in, "& Jesus, give me some pie, in Jesus name, amen, God bless you."

It was all I could do to keep a straight face...ok, I didn't keep a straight face! I just about rolled!!! By the way, he did get his pie!!

Silence Sucks

This was a repost, but I thought worth the read:

Oh trust me, I love peace and quiet. But that’s not the kind of silence I’m talking about here. I’m referring to the kind of silence that happens when people shut down and refuse to discuss problems, issues, upsets…you get the picture.


You see, I’m a communicator. When something goes wrong, I insist on talking about it—maybe not immediately, but certainly within a reasonable time-frame (which could be anywhere from a couple hours to a couple days, but rarely more than that). So in the unfortunate event that I piss someone off, or someone or something pisses me off, I discuss it. Talk it through. I apologize…or forgive…or I blog about it here…or all of the above. I never let it fester.

I’m lucky because I married someone who operates in the same open and communicative way. In fact, he’s usually the one who wants to talk things through right away and I’m usually the one who shuts down until I can figure out what went wrong and how it can be fixed. (So I do understand going silent ... temporarily.) But we always wind up discussing any upsets and are so much stronger by the time things get resolved. In that sense, conflict and adversity wind up bringing us even closer—we learn more than we ever thought possible.


The thing that sucks is that there are people out there who don’t want to talk about things—ever. When something bad happens, they shut down forever. They harbor all this anger or resentment or sadness and can’t—or simply won’t—discuss it. If you happen to cross this person’s path at the wrong time and speak or act out of turn, look out…because chances are you’ll get kicked to the curb with no explanation. No communication. No opportunity to fully understand what you may have done or how to repair the damage. All these people know is that you have harmed them—but chances are it’s not even your fault. They were already walking around with a victim mentality.

And that’s precisely why silence sucks—for the person who remains silent, and for the person who wants to talk about it—because nothing gets resolved, nobody learns or grows, and everybody loses.